Words can hardly describe how disappointing Roland Emmerich’s attempt at resurrecting a beloved monster IP truly is. It is common knowledge that he was not a fan of the original Godzilla films and leveraged his success from Independence Day to take creative liberties and, boy, is it apparent.
The script is more action than plot oriented, so it’s rather easy to explain: Dr. Niko Tatopoulos (played by Matthew Broderick) is a world-renowned scientist that studies the effects that nuclear fallout has on the environment– in particular, earth worms. While conducting research in Russia, he is contacted by the American government to study a humongous footprint in French Polynesia.
Rather quickly, Godzilla makes his way ashore and ravages Manhattan while taking refuge in the subway system– as if New Yorkers don’t already have enough troubles with trains that run on technology approaching nearly a century old. Tatopouos surmises that the beast originated near the footprint and was a product of nuclear testing conducted by the French government.
Though Tatopoulos attempts to be friendly with the monster, the army quickly opens fire and kicks off an hour long action scene to round out the movie. In the end, Godzilla and nearly all of his babies are torched by a huge detonation in Madison Square Garden– or so we think. Before the credits roll, one final, forgotten egg hatches and we’re left wondering whether or not it slept through the second and third acts like we did.
The short and sweet is that Godzilla is bad– really bad. It’s hard to name something positive that you can take away other than some impressive water effects early in the film. After that, you’re left with a slew of poor performances, some unimpressive CGI (even for the time), and a script that relishes the use of jokes that are simultaneously lame and cringe-inducing.
You’re better off popping in one of the Japanese classics and calling it a night.
Matt: Don't watch Gabe: Don't watch
Instead of the authenticity this movie craved, Empire Records ends up feeling like more of an attempt to cash in on punk music, acid wash jeans, and teen angst than an homage to the actual culture it was emulating.
The eponymous Empire Records store is being taken over by The Man– more specifically, the sterilized, corporate entity: Music Town. In an act of rebellion, and brash decision making, one of the store’s managers takes all the money in a cash register and gambles in Atlantic City in order to make enough money to save the store. Unfortunately, quite the opposite happens and thousands of dollars are lost, leaving the crew in an even bigger predicament.
Resigned to their fate, the employees of Empire Records live as though that day is their last by having dance parties on the store’s floor, holding mini-funerals for depressed coworkers, and even befriending misguided teen that threatens to shoot up the store (all of these things actually happen). In the end, they decide to hold a huge concert to raise money and buy the store from the seedy, corporate owner. They succeed and all is well.
It’s difficult to summarize the film, only because, at times, it feels more like a prolonged music video than a bonafide film; the songs are great and are only undermined by spastic dancing and pointless vignettes. You need a 90s, record store fix, watch High Fidelity.
Matt: 1.75/5 Gabe: 2.00/5 Xan: 3.50/5
The original, Danish, version of this movie, Nattevagten, was released four years prior to the remake and is regarded as the superior attempt at a horror/thriller– at least that’s what the internet thinks. In the end, the 1998 version ends up being a cheap emulation of a film that is three years its senior, David Fincher’s Se7en.
Where Se7en succeeds, Nightwatch utterly fails.
True to its name, Nightwatch follows the story of Martin (played by Ewan McGregor). Martin is in the throes of law school and finds a new job as a nightwatchman in a local morgue. It’s clear from the start that things are slightly off-kilter as the start of this job also marks the beginning of a murder investigation into the death of a prostitute that is transferred to the same morgue.
As Martin slips slowly into madness, prodded by his friend James (played by Josh Brolin), evidence begins to mount against him as his friends and co-workers turn against him. As more and more pieces fall into place, it is evident that someone is setting him up.
This film would be a total loss if it weren’t for the first thirty minutes. It’s clear that the director, Ole Bornedal, has a knack for establishing atmosphere. In particular, a scene where Martin is sitting in his booth, studying, while his reflection stares back at him through a window in front of him, waiting for something to strike, is suspenseful and important to the character’s development.
Aside from the first act and some inventive cinematography, there isn’t much this film does right. It reveals its mystery far too early and loses all momentum before its climax.
Matt: Watch it for the atmosphere Gabe: Don't watch
Richard Linklater directs this surprisingly mundane look at the true-story of four brothers that robbed nearly 200 banks from 1919-1924 across North America. Unfortunately for Linklater, the brilliance that was shown in his other films like Dazed and Confused, Bernie, and Boyhood is completely absent from this observation of the Newton brothers.
The film opens with Willis Newton (Matthew McConaughey) returning from a four-year stint in prison for stealing cotton– it turns out that the eldest brother, Dock (Vincent D’Onofrio), actually stole the cotton, but brought Willis down with him. He returns home to his brothers Jess (Ethan Hawke) and Joe (Skeet Ulrich), only to leave shortly after.
He’s roped in to the bank-robbing business by a skittish and nerdy Brentwood Glasscock (Dwight Yoakam) and a seedy gangster named Slick. The first mission is hardly successful as Glasscock is injured, Willis barely escapes, and Slick is caught by the local sheriff. From there, Willis and Glasscock decide to team up with Jess, Joe, and Dock to rob nearly 200 banks over the course of five years.
In all of this, Willis falls in love with a beautiful, charming woman named Louise (Julianna Margulies) and they quickly move in together. While Willis is attempting to become a bonafide man in the booming oil business, his fortunes change and he is brought back into the vagabond lifestyle by mobsters in Chicago. This last job focuses on stealing nearly 3 million dollars from a postal train that carries money from town-to-town.
During this heist, Dock is mistakenly shot by Glasscock, which prompts the group to seek medical attention. The next day, nearly everyone is apprehended and interrogated by the feds. Willis is given a proposition: return all the money and rat-out the inside man who gave them the information on the train and receive a shortened sentence for him and his brothers. At first, Willis is hesitant, because he does have some honor. In the end, he decides the incentives are too enticing.
The Newton Boys is one of those films that does nothing right or wrong; it’s so completely mediocre that it’s frustrating because it can neither be despised, nor revered. It was forgotten after a disappointing bout at the box-office– making only 10.2 million dollars back off of a 27 million dollar budget.
Some solid performances from the main-ensemble and decent character arcs make an otherwise uninspiring look at a group of bank robbers bearable. In the end, a film about such an exciting topic should have yielded a much more exciting product. Because we only see a montage of bank robberies and not much strife or pursuit, there’s nothing to root for or worry about.
Matt: Watch once Gabe: Watch once if you like Linklater